Quote of the Day

Been a while since we've done this!  I'm still alive, and my New Year's Resolution was to blog more, which currently has had Fat Train getting all of the attention, but I remember this site as well, and promise to give it some love.

I'm actually in the middle of a paper that is due tomorrow right now, but I saw this quote and thought I'd put up a few thoughts on it...

Everything you can imagine is real.
  - Pablo Picasso

I honestly believe that in a way this is true. It is real in your head, at the very least, real to you, if you will, but there is a part of me that believes that it is more substantially real as well.

There is a thought in Quantum Physics that some particles don't exist except when we are looking at them (or for them) at which point they do exist.

Clearly our minds do have some sort of connection to (if not some form of control over) the universe in which we live.

And we clearly don't understand completely the universe in which we live, much less rather or not it is the only such universe that there is.

It is completely possible (and perhaps even scientifically plausible) that everything that we imagine does truly exist in some universe, even if not in ours.

The Ridiculous Road to Respectability

TCU is headed to the AQ (automatic qualifying) Big East, starting in July of 2012 (just in time for the world to end... coincidence?) in all sports.

Part of me is ridiculously ecstatic in regards to this development, part of me dies a little inside due to the fact that we are going to be buying into a system that is so obviously corrupt, elitist, and illogical.

Put it this way, the conference that we are currently in (non automatic qualifying Mountain West) has two teams currently ranked in the Top 25 (us at three, Utah at 20 in the BCS, 21 in the AP) with two others also receiving votes (San Diego State would be at 32 in the AP and Air Force would be 33).  The AQ conference we are going to (the Big East) has one team currently ranked in the Top 25 (West Virginia at 24) and only one other team also receiving votes (Connecticut would be at 29).  The Big East currently has 6 teams that are bowl eligible, one more than the Mountain West does, but of those bowl eligible teams, only one of the six has more than 7 wins on the season, all but one of the Mountain West bowl eligible teams have at least 8 wins on the season.  West Virginia, the only of the bowl eligible Big East teams with more than 7 wins, only has 8 wins on the season.

The bottom of the Mountain West certainly appears weaker, with four teams with worse overall records than any in the Big East (Colorado St and Wyoming each at 3 and 9 and New Mexico and UNLV each with double digit losses), but there are two teams with only 4 wins in the Big East (Cincinnati and Rutgers), but then there is the fact that the Big East has one less team than the Mountain West overall, meaning that an additional cupcake can be added to the home schedule for each of the Big East teams.  So if you real close look at it, the bottom of the barrel for the Mountain West isn't really that much worse than the Big East.

I think that it is safe to say without much doubt that the Mountain West is currently a superior conference when compared to the Big East in football.

That being said, the Big East has an automatic spot in a BCS bowl, meaning that their teams can get into a BCS bowl despite losing a game or two (and, in fact will get a team in this year with at least 3 losses, and probably one with at least 4) which for some reason makes the powers that be regard them as having faced stiffer competition and more worthy of National Title consideration.

It is very rare for there to be lots of teams with zero losses on the regular season.  Last year, there were 5.  That isn't normal.  The reason that I am glad that we are moving into the Big East is that had there only been 3 teams at the end of the regular season last year (as will be the case this year assuming Oregon and Auburn win out, which certainly is not a given) Cincinnati would have been in the National Championship game over us.  Simply because they came out of the Big East.  The final rankings had them at 9 after they got completely embarrassed by Florida.  We also lost our bowl game, but finished at 6, meaning when it was all said and done, no one really thought that Cincinnati was actually better than we were, but they would have been in the National Championship game based solely on the fact that they were from an AQ conference.

The way things stand this season, it might not matter if we were in an AQ conference or not.  If we were undefeated in the Big East right now, we would still be third behind an unbeaten Auburn and an unbeaten Oregon, but I can tell you this, there wouldn't be any talk of us possibly getting left out of the National Title game if one of them slipped up on Saturday.  Right now, there are people saying that it could be that Wisconsin will jump us or that Auburn would remain ahead of us even with a loss.  Personally, I think that if either of those teams slip up, we will get our chance, but there would be no question that we would get our chance if we were already in the Big East, despite the fact that the conference we are currently in is better.

That shows how ridiculous this system is, and how we really have no choice but to take the opportunity to put ourselves in the system, make ourselves one of the haves instead of remaining co-ruler of the have-nots with Boise St.

Take a look at them for why this move had to happen.  They lost to a very good Nevada team in overtime for what will be their only loss of the season, but they will be in an early bowl game probably against the third place team from the MAC.  That is horrible.  They deserve much better than that.  In BCS bowls in their place will be an at least 3 loss (but probably 4 loss) Big East team, the ACC Champion which will either be 2 loss Virginia Tech (who lost to a D1-AA team and, yup, Boise St) or a three loss Florida St team, and the Big 12 Champ which will either be a 2 loss OU or a 2 loss Nebraska.  None of those teams deserve a spot over a 12-1 Boise St.

This system is corrupt and unfair, and to get to a National Title game as a non-AQ requires that there be at most only one undefeated AQ team and a preseason ranking inside the top 10.  Anything else makes it impossible, and even when these criteria are met it isn't a guarantee.

As much as I hate this system, and will continue to, it will be nice to be on the side that benefits from the corruption for a change.

This move will also prove hugely beneficial to both the men's and women's basketball programs and the baseball program due to the better TV exposure, more respectable (unquestionably in basketball) conference, and (again, especially in basketball) access to better recruits.  Right now, it has been quite some time since our men's basketball team has been respectable (although they currently sit at 5-2 after beating USC yesterday... GO FROGS!) and there will probably be some tough games in the beginning, but with the chance to get to play perennial NCAA tourney teams such as Pitt, Georgetown, Syracuse, Connecticut, and Notre Dame every year  I truly believe that it won't be long before our men's basketball team gets serious and can contend even if not actually win the conference.  Trips to the Tourney won't be out of the question and on years we don't make it to the big dance, the NIT won't be a terrible consolation prize.  As for the women's team, no more 25 win seasons followed by a 12 seed.

The positives far outweigh any negatives (and travel isn't really a negative because we will actually travel less in the Big East than we would in the soon to be reconstructed Mountain West) so it is hard to not like this change.

I just wish the system wasn't one that made it totally necessary.

Go Frogs! (And go South Carolina and Oregon St this weekend!)

The Min-Centaur

So, a friend of mine has a D&D group every Sunday night here on campus.

Now, I think we can all agree that I am a nerd. I am obsessed with Sci-Fi (as opposed to SyFy the ridiculous renaming of the Sci-Fi Network, but that's another post and probably should be on Fat-Train) most of my non-scholastic reading is in the fantasy genre, I have spent numerous hours playing through every possible scenario in every Bioware game, and I am an expert on the entire universes of Marvel and DC, but in my life I have actually never played Dungeons and Dragons.

I know. It's actually rather surprising to me as well.

Ever since I've found Wil Wheaton's blog (oh yeah, I really love Star Trek too, and so it shouldn't be a surprise that I am a fan of the blog from the guy that played Wesley Crusher) I've had a little more interest in getting involved with this style of gaming.  Wil does a great job in some of his posts talking about why games such as D&D are important and those posts certainly have me more intrigued with the idea of joining my friend's game.

However, I have standards.

By which I mean that I'm going to do it my way, and in as original way as I can manage.  If I'm going to finally play D&D when I've gone through my whole nerd life without ever playing D&D, I'm going to do it right.

My friend told me the different character types I could use in the game, and it included minotaurs (a torso of a bull but a man waist down) and centaurs (torso of a man, but the body of a horse below the waist), so clearly, I decided that my character should be a Min-Centaur, having the torso of a bull (like a minotaur) but have the body of a horse below the waist (like a centaur).

He has yet to agree to let this type of character into the game, and therefore I have yet to play D&D, but that hasn't kept me from imagining some back story for my character.

He is a loner, having no idea who his parents are; he is rejected by both the minotaur society and the centaur society as a freak.  Throughout his life he has made his own way, and been forced to learn to fight in order to protect himself from all of those who would see it as a huge mark of honor to kill this unique "monster."

Of course, he would also have a heart of gold and be fiercely protective of all those that he considers to be outside of the norm and discriminated against.

I hope that my friend reconsiders and allows my Min-Centaur into the game, because I think that there are many possibilities for this character to grow and add to the overall story of the game that my friends are playing.  And if I'm going to finally break down and play D&D, it is with this type of storyline potential that I want to engage the game.

And as original an idea that the Min-Centaur seems to be, as my friend Justin points out in a recent blog post of his own, "There is a new kind of law since the advent of the internet that if you can think of something, it's already on the internet."  And that turns out to be true about the Min-Centaur as well.

So, I will close with a pic I found of two of these magnificent creatures.

JOSH TOULOUSE SMASH!

I'm an adult on the Youth Ministry Council for the Trinity Brazos Area, which is just a lot of words saying that I help the high school youth on the council plan and execute the CYF (high school age) events for the TBA.

Our first event with this council was Fall Retreat in December, and Adam (another adult on the council) decided we needed a more creative way to present the rules for the events. I agreed, and as the person on the council with a film degree, and the only one with an awesome Canon XL-2 video camera, I agreed to help put together a rules video using a bunch of Adam's action figures.

We shot the first one the night before the event was going to begin, leaving me little time to edit it, and so I'm not in love with how the first one turned out, however, the idea was funny enough, and it went over very well with the youth, plus it was a ton of fun to make, and that is really the important thing.



For the second video, for Mid Winter which was this very weekend, we shot it on the Monday before which allowed me all week to edit it, and therefore I am much more excited about the finished product.



It was over twice as long which meant that I had to split it up for YouTube, so the outtakes, which at the retreat were shown with the video, are here in their own video.



Again we had a lot of fun getting together to shoot the video, and although it was a lot of work, I really enjoyed editing the video, and again, the youth really enjoyed it, so overall, the project has been a great success.

I also really enjoy the fact that there is a major storyline developing throughout these videos, and I have already begun work on the story for the culmination of what will be the Rules Video Trilogy, with the final video debuting this summer at CYF Conference.

I'll post it here afterward.

Remember, Follow the rules or JOSH TOULOUSE SMASH!

Lent and the Idea of Sacrifice

Today is Ash Wednesday, and the official begininng of Lent, leading up to the betrayal and crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth, culminating in Easter Sunday, celebrating the resurrection.

Many people, especially in the Catholic tradition, use this time of Lent to give something up, as a way to commemorate and symbolize the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. Throughout my life I have gone between participating in this tradition and ignoring it.

The last couple of years I have participated in Lent, but more because I saw it as a way to better myself, not primarily as a way to get closer to God or to try and identify with the suffering of Jesus. Two years ago I gave up sweets and since that time have done a better job of not overdoing it with candy. Similarly last year I gave up fast food, and since, I have not eaten fast food with the regularity that I did before last year, and in fact have eaten fast food less than once a week so far this year (granted it is only February).

Both of those were things that I wanted to "give up" in order to better myself, however, and not really something that I was giving up that would cause me any suffering or real sense of loss, especially since I have tried to continue that practice beyond Lent each of the last two years.

This year, I wanted to give up something that would truly be difficult, and something that I would be extremely glad to get back when the Lenten season was over. I also wanted it to be something that in its absence would allow me a way to grow closer to God.

I've found that item, and this is definitely not going to be easy.

I am giving up the radio. I am giving up listening to music or even sports talk when I am at home (via Internet radio, iTunes, X-Box live, the Sirius/XM ap on my phone, etc.), when I am at work (XM online and Pandora are normally almost always streaming on my computer, and when neither of those are, my iPod is, but not now), and most importantly and most difficultly, in the car.

Working approximately 30 minutes away from where I live, the radio is an essential part of my daily commute. Forcing myself to make that drive in silence will hopefully allow me time to meditate and make more of an effort to commune with God daily. It is hard to drive in that silence and not think about why I am driving in that silence, and that, I believe, will make this a much more rewarding experience than just giving up something that I wanted to or knew that I should give up anyway.

I look forward to seeing how this spiritual discipline will affect me as the Lenten season progresses.

Wish me luck.

Best Quote of the Day Ever

"But I think you create [your own luck]," Patterson followed up. "As Yoda says, 'Try not. Do ... or do not. There is no try.’ " - from a story in the Star-Telegram.

Can I love Gary Patterson any more? Not only does he have my Horned Frogs on the cusp of a National Championship, but he quoted Star Wars!

GO FROGS!!!!

I hope that everyone in Fort Worth or the surrounding areas will make it to the game Saturday, so that we can fill that stadium again. I would be there if I were in the country, it takes clearing customs to keep me from being there, so you shouldn't really have an excuse!

It Doesn't Feel Like It Has Been Ten Years

It doesn't feel like it has been ten years.

I was 21 and back in school. After a disastrous first year of college I had taken a couple of years off and was in actuality very close to never going to school again. That summer however I had a conversation with a very good friend named Jerry Self who helped me to make the difficult decision to try and make something of myself. So I was back in school at Tarrant County College (formally Tarrant County Junior College, but they were trying to make themselves look better so they dropped the "Junior") working to get my GPA up so that I could get accepted into TCU.

I knew Jerry thanks to church camp. For the past few summers, Jerry, myself, and a group of a few others had worked the JYF (4th and 5th graders in the Disciples of Christ denomination) camp for the Trinity Brazos Area of the Southwest Region of the DOC. We became a tight-knit group, and had hung out numerous times that summer before the real world intruded and separated us for the time being. Jerry was the one who was furthest away, as he was in his Junior year at Texas A&M.

While I had started back in school that semester thanks in large part to the talks that Jerry and I had had that summer, I was also continuing to work at Kroger, a job I had had since high school. I had been in management, but when I went back to school I had stepped down from that position to put my focus on my school work.

I had to work early that morning ten years ago, November 18th, 1999. I was on my way into work before 6am and I had the Ticket on, but I wasn't really listening. It was just background noise. I only barely realized that they were talking about A&M, but it didn't mean anything to me and I didn't pay any attention.

It was a little after 8 when the customer service representative came to the cash office door and told me that there was a phone call for me and whoever it was calling was in tears. I answered the phone and it was my sister Cara, a part of those JYF camps. We had grown closer those past couple of summers as we got to spend time together as friends instead of just as brother and sister, and I suppose it would be fair to say that Jerry had played a part in that as well as he was such an important part of the group dynamic. As I answered the phone and heard the tears of my sister as she sobbed uncontrollably I thought back to the radio conversation I had payed so little attention to. I knew instantly that something terrible had happened at A&M and I knew instantly that something had happened to Jerry.

"It's Jerry, isn't it?" I asked, tears beginning to form in my eyes as well.

My sister somehow managed to get out the words, "His picture is on the TV. They're saying he's dead. They're saying Jerry's dead."

At 2:42am that morning, the Bonfire had collapsed and Jerry was working on it when it did.

It was the worst news I had ever received in my entire life.

Six years earlier my Grandfather died, and that was terrible, but doctors had told him that he wouldn't live long enough to see me turn one. He almost saw me turn 16. It was terrible, but it was something I could understand. There was no understanding this.

Jerry was younger then me, for goodness sake. It couldn't be possible that he was dead. I had talked to him less then one week earlier. I was calling to see if he would be around for Thanksgiving, I thought that perhaps we could all get together on Thanksgiving weekend. He answered the phone and I could barely hear him. He was in a car with the top down, on an impromptu road trip with some Aggie friends. He had trouble hearing me as well and he said, "Hey man, don't worry about it. We'll talk real soon." Those were the last words he said to me, less then a week before, "We'll talk real soon." How could he be dead?

It was very hard on all of us, Dayna, Beth, Jason, Elissa, my sister, and myself. It really just did not seem possible. It just did not seem real.

To be honest, ten years later, it still doesn't.

Sad to say, that group hasn't spent a lot of time hanging out together in quite some time, although we are always planning to fix that. I hate that I don't see them as often as I'd like, although it was a joy to get to do camp this summer with Beth and Jason, and also this summer, Elissa was there working in the hospital while Cara gave birth to her first child, so that was awesome as well. And thanks to Facebook, I've recently gotten to reconnect a little bit with Dayna.

Despite the fact that as a group we aren't as close as we were ten years ago (when our group was held together by Jerry) I know that I love every one of them and that every one of them loves me, and I know that I could count on any one of them for anything. I hope that they know how much they mean to me and how important each and every one of them are to my life. I plan on telling them all that today, because I never got the chance to tell Jerry that.

Ten years ago was a time in my life when I was having a lot of questions regarding my faith, and while you might think that an unexpected death like this might damage my ability to believe even further, ultimately the opposite was true. Jerry had a faith that was stronger than the faith anyone else I have ever met. He believed in God and he believed in Jesus and he made it seem easy to live a Christian lifestyle. That isn't to say that Jerry was perfect, no one is and I know that Jerry wasn't either, but he loved everybody and made everyone know that he loved them. It was impossible not to feel special and wanted when Jerry was around. Jesus preached that the most important commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself and Jerry did that effortlessly. When I think of what a true Christian looks like, I think of Jerry. It is Jerry that I think about to this day when I strive to be a better Christian. And when I read or hear stories of "Christians" who persecute others, spread hate and bigotry, condemn others, and tarnish the image of the millions of Christians who don't act in those ways I wish that the world could have known Jerry and would be able to replace the image that they have of those "Christians" with the image I have of Christians simply because of knowing him.

I made the decision this summer to once again go back to school, ten years after the last such decision. It was a tough decision to make, but one that I know Jerry would have supported.

I am now in Seminary working towards becoming a minister and that is something that never would have happened if I hadn't known a young man named Jerry Self.

It doesn't feel like it has been ten years, but whether we want it to or not, time marches on.

We still miss you Jerry.

I have no doubt that we always will.

Thank you for everything you meant to me and continue to mean.

I miss you.